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Spanked too hard

Even for the ordinarily cool and collected, the impulse to lash out physically can be strong and sometimes overwhelming — and the impulse is only human, especially if you were spanked by your own parents.


Spanked Too Hard

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Internet Explorer 11 is no longer supported. Sparing the rod may spoil the child, the old saying goes. It may also stave off allegations of child abuse. But in this age of politically correct parenting, how hard can you spankif at all?

Lindi
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You need to do things for yourself. It really helps him feel special. While I love my girls and am thankful that they're healthy and beautiful, I miss my freedom I think more than most parents. Too internet can be mean, and you have some nice commenters here. So forgive yourself, having 2 demanding babies and a toddler is hard! Make a list, if you must, of a couple things yo like to do or make you feel better. While she loves her baby sister to death, she incessantly grabs toys from her and tries to keep her from playing with anything and everything in sight.

I know breathing exercises help me a lot, as does seeing the situation, walking into another room to calm down, and then addressing it once I'm calm enough to do so. I had moments where I didn't react the way I know I should have and I am not proud of them, but I know I love my girl hard than anything and I strive to learn from my mistakes and do better. She will quickly escalate and then the worst for me comes next She'll sit next to her sister, while never breaking eye contact with me, and start tapping the toy. Reading your post made me feel so much better. Every time I tell myself it will be the spank.

I miss doing my artwork. Also, I think we are all born to be moms since we are moms, right? I take my older son out for ice cream dates once in a while to have our own time and bond. That doesn't mean I'm deprived.

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And if you think you are depressed, yes, you can talk to your ob about it, checking for pp depression was part of my pp checkup with my MWs. I'm going to give you my opinionbut I'm in NO way equipped to give advice. What you did to her was wrong, and you need to own up to it and ask for her forgiveness. You may want to discuss this with your OB if you have any other s of post-partum depression or anxiety, which is very common in your situation.

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I wish you luck finding one you like and is covered by insurance. Everyone goes through this to some extent. Maybe even get a little one-on-one time with each of them throughout the week once your husband gets home. I often feel I'm the only one in the world who can't handle her toddler. And at the end of every day, I usually feel like a pretty crappy parent. No one cares if your house is clean and you are miserable.

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I also have a very demanding 6 month old. When I don't give her one, she starts sliding the toy from her sister, ever so slowly, and this is when I usually step in. I felt like I… This is my first time browsing this group as I am beginning to feel desperate with how to handle my very, very strong-willed, spirited, miss independent 2 year old. I'm a stay-at-home mom and find the whole thing incredibly challenging. We realize that the problem is not with our child, but with us. Hopefully, reading my similar story will let you know that you are not alone I, too, always said I would not spank my kids before having them.

It's a day-to-day struggle. At this point, any communication between the two of us is futile. My husband has also spanked her and feels the exact same way.

Why you shouldn't spank your toddler or baby

I forgot to tell you, YES! Get counseling. I don't mean leave your kids, go shopping anytnig specific.

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When we do try the suggestions from "experts," we also see no change. You control your body. At this moment might put on mine: 1 eat chocolate 2 brush my hair 3 crochet. I want to go back to work.

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First of all, I think you are brave for putting this out there and reaching out. Kids go with me everywhere.

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When I am rested I am much more patient. I miss quietness. I feel awful about it every single time and see absolutely no as far as getting my daughter to listen to me or do as she's told. Also, I have him too involved and helpful with things for his little brother. Do what works for you to get your balance. You are not alone. That said, obviously your letting anger turn into rage at the drop of a hat. I'm sure you don't want your daughter to be terrified of you spanking her, so it's time to do something about it.

She has to learn to share and to do it with kindness. If I put her in hard out for "not listening to mommy," she becomes more enraged, as do I. The cycle just goes on and on and on. These are just a few ideas. Give yourself a break, you are not a bad person for losing your cool once and spanking your DD. I always try to remind myself to be more patient with DD but sometimes I lose my patience and I also regret my reaction after I calm down.

The effects of spanking children

We do everything we can think of to prevent our own tempers from escalating, but with little or no success. For example, "they" say, instead of a time-out when your child is super upset, let them know that you love them, why they need to calm down This can be an incredibly difficult thing to do when you're MAD.

There's just no getting around that aspect. I envy my husband for being able to "escape" to work every day. I get alone time with my husband I've had some bad experiences with friends, so I'm super cautious and I do something for myself that doesn't conflict with having kids!

I would also agree that getting some PPD support would be helpful. She's waiting for my response.

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I feel like I say "no" to her all day This particular toy-taking scenario is what seems to send our 3 yr. Next, work on your anger issues. There are a lot of counselling services out there that will work with you on a cost you can afford. Again, thank you for sharing your input! My parents spanked me as and I thought it a cop-out on their part; a way to vent their anger at me Fastforward: I have a 3. Our kids piss us off. Maybe I should point out I haven't been out of the house since my first son was born 7 years ago, spank brief appointments?

But I don't think you're feeling good about youself. Good luck! They push every button we've got I could go too and on, but I'll leave this with you in the hope that 1 it helps you feel a hard better, even though neither one of us wants to spank, 2 both of our he together may just come up with a solution. I would say that my first piece of advice is to screw the chores.

Never miss a beat.

Some people are born to be moms And then there are people like us that want to somehow juggle a sense of identity and life AND be good parents. My three year-old has been my and my husband's biggest challenge. I miss reading. Find time to stress less about things and enjoy the time with the .

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I love my daughter with everything in me, but good golly she sure knows how to get under my skin. Sewing, for example, should not be relied on I have felt anger, beyond what is necessary to discipline. Talk to your daughter and apologize to her. I have spanked my 3 yr. It is hard to deal with the older child when the next one s come along.

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I know for me lack of sleep makes me very short on patience, functioning on a few hours of sleep while your toddler is pushing your buttons is not easy. And don't feel bad about the spank, just recognize how you feel and use that to determine if you want to again. I think it's a great way to vent, get advice, and have a breather from your girls.

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Or better yet, someone with a brilliant solution will read this and share with us. If getting them done is affecting your relationship with your children, then stop. We read and read from books and forums on how to handle these type of situations.